A Reason to Stay Read online

  Caught up in the pure pleasure of her fantasy world, Ellie was unaware of the moans and gasps escaping her lips. She was aware of only one thing, the throbbing heat in her body that screamed to be quenched. As she stroked her clit rhythmically, her other hand abandoned her swollen nipples to thrust first one, then two fingers into the hot, steamy folds of her pussy.

  As her Fantasy-Jake fucked her with his tongue, she fucked herself with her fingers. Water sloshed the floor as she rocked in an ever increasing rhythm, every nerve in her body screaming for release. Her blood boiling, she pinched her clit between two fingers and plunged the two fingers of the other hand deeper into her pussy, and sent herself over the edge with a tiny squeal.

  After several long moments, the shaking of the orgasmic aftermath began to subside and Ellie floated back down to earth. As she began washing away the remnants of her solitary interlude, she was thankful Jake was downstairs watching TV and couldn’t hear her pleasuring herself.

  *****

  Jake’s body was on fire. He felt ashamed that he had stood there and listened, but the shame was not what caused the burning in his loins. He’d only meant to knock on the door and let Ellie know the take-out was on its way. But when he’d reached the bathroom door there had been sounds coming out that told him Ellie didn’t want to be disturbed right then. He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, really he hadn’t. But the soft gasps and moans were just too delectable. Sounds he’d always imagined coming out of Ellie’s lips. But in his dream there hadn’t been a door separating them and he’d been the one making her groan, not her own fingers.

  That thought brought the image of Ellie in his bathtub, her body slick from water and soap. Her hands were sliding over her smooth skin, playing over her plump breasts, teasing the nipples hard, then moving down to her creamy thighs.

  As much as he wanted to leave, to give Ellie her privacy, that image along with the tantalizing sounds glued his feet to the floor. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t do anything but listen and wish he had the guts to bust through the door and join her in that huge tub. Then he could turn her gasps into screams and release the unbearable heat pooled in his belly. But, he didn’t have the guts.

  He’d made his decision weeks ago when he’d learned she was moving. He wasn’t going to try to stand in her way. He wanted her to be happy and if moving to Chicago was what it took, then he would make sure that is what she got. If he were completely truthful, he was just down right afraid, too. He could rush in there and offer himself to her, but what if she refused. Damn, no other woman had ever made him feel as uncertain as Ellie Blaylock. No other woman had ever made him feel the way she did, in any way.

  So, he didn’t rush in there, but he didn’t leave either. He stood there, his heat rising and his jeans getting tighter with every second. He stood there and listened to every breathy gasp, every soul-stirring moan, and every slosh of the water. He tightened his hands into painful fists to keep from stroking himself. He couldn’t give her the privacy she deserved, but he was damned if he was going to stand there and jack himself off like some hormonal, teen-aged Peeping Tom.

  When the last strangled gasp and high pitched squeal announced Ellie’s climax to him through the door, it was all Jake could do to stifle his own moan of frustration. God, he wanted to be the one causing her to cry out with pleasure. The urge to rush into the bathroom and take her in his arms welled up inside him again, but the moment was gone.

  He heard water swirling down the bathtub drain, then the spray of water from the shower. Ellie must be washing her hair. That meant she would be out any minute, and if he didn’t get out of there she would find him standing there and know he’d been eavesdropping like some weirdo creep. But he was still glued to his spot with the thoughts of a naked Ellie just beyond the door.

  At that moment, the doorbell chimed the arrival of their dinner. Thankful for the interruption, Jake hurried downstairs to open the door before the bell chimed again. He didn’t want Ellie to wonder why it took him a long time to answer the door.

  By the time Ellie came downstairs, Jake had the massive amounts of Chinese food they always ordered arranged on the coffee table along with a beer for himself and a berry flavored wine cooler for Ellie.

  He’d also stood in front of his open freezer door for several minutes in order to force himself to cool down. He realized his efforts were in vain when returned from the kitchen, where he’d went to hunt down some soy sauce because the delivery guy had forgotten to put little packets of the stuff in their order, and found Ellie lounging on the couch.

  His heart nearly stopped as he took in the beauty of her. She’d partially dried her hair and damp curls fluttered around her face in a chestnut halo, the ends leaving tiny wet spots on the shoulders of her t-shirt. His eyes flickered over the t-shirt. There was nothing remarkable about it. It was a huge, over-sized pink nightshirt that fell to her knees and had "Princess" emblazoned across the front, her standard Movie Night attire. Because they usually stayed up so late watching movies, she stayed over in his spare bedroom.

  No, nothing remarkable about that old t-shirt at all, except the way it clung to the moisture left on her skin from her bath, outlining every curve of her luscious body. Or the way it clung to her ripe, braless breasts, the peeling "Princess" not able to cover the jut of the nipples that were hard from the slight chill in the air. Or the way the hem slipped up her smooth, tanned thighs, stopping just short of giving him a peek of what he knew were white cotton panties when she sat cross-legged, as she was doing now.

  Get a grip, McCallister! He knew he was being ridiculous. Ellie had been wearing the same thing or something very similar for Movie Night for as long as he could remember. Hell, he’d seen her in much less when they’d shared an apartment in college. There was no reason for him to suddenly freak out over a t-shirt.

  But he knew it wasn’t suddenly. That shirt had given him many a sleepless night, especially in the past year or so when he’d begun to realize just how much Ellie really meant to him, how he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, not as her best friend, but as the man she loved. But tonight it was different. It was even harder than usual to keep his hormones in check. Probably because of what he’d heard upstairs, but maybe it was because tonight would be the last time he would be seeing Ellie this way for a very long time, maybe forever. That thought was a knife in his heart. Ellie picked that moment to look up and notice him standing near the doorway.

  "Hey, bring me that soy sauce, I’m starved!" she said, as if there was no way she could begin eating without the soy sauce. Truthfully she couldn’t, or at least she didn’t think she could. Ellie had a very precise way of working her way through Chinese food, and the first thing she did involved an egg roll and a ton of soy sauce.

  "What are you grinning at?" Ellie demanded, taking the bottle from his hand and applying the salty sauce liberally to an egg roll she’d broken in half.

  "You and your crazy eating habits," laughed Jake.

  Ellie feigned outrage "Weird? Me? You’re one to talk, Mister Never-Try-Anything-New!"

  She had a point. Every time they got Chinese he stuck to his favorite of Mongolian Beef, refusing to try the huge variety of dishes Ellie always ordered. He supposed it was a little stick-in-the-mud of him. He could risk his life daily, but he couldn’t taste Mu Shu Pork. And he couldn’t risk his heart enough to tell the woman he loved how he felt.

  "Okay, I’ll make a deal with you. You don’t drown the fried rice in soy sauce and I’ll try any of the dishes you want me to."

  Ellie grinned, wrinkling her cute little pug nose and a causing an intense longing to bend down and kiss it to shoot through Jake. Laughing, she said, "Deal. Now go get changed so we can put the movie in. I want to see Jean Claude Van Damme kick some ass."

  Jake, who’d been on his way to put the DVD in the player, froze mid-stride. Movie Night was all about comfort and pigging out, and baggy sweatpants was his standard uniform. But tonight his body had been so r
ebellious; he'd hoped she wouldn’t realize he was still wearing his jeans. As tight as they were, they provided him the camouflage that the sweatpants couldn’t. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t stay in his jeans without causing Ellie to wonder why. And knowing Ellie, she would start asking questions he couldn’t answer.

  Without saying a word, Jake dropped the DVD case onto the coffee table and went upstairs to change. Maybe he would just say he was cold and keep a blanket over his lap all night.

  ****

  Empty Chinese food cartons and beer and wine cooler bottles littered the coffee table. Jake drained the last of his beer and added it to the others. He started to get up to get another, but decided against it. Although going to the kitchen to retrieve another beer would give him a chance to put some space between himself and Ellie, he’d already had four, and that was his limit. He already felt a bit fuzzy headed, and any more could impair his judgment more than he could afford. He was already struggling to keep a hold on his self-control.

  Besides, to be completely honest, he didn’t really want to put space between himself and Ellie. He liked the way during the second movie she’d scooted closer to share his blanket and was snuggled into the crook of his arm. This was a normal position for the two of them, curled up together on the sofa. Ellie had a tendency to lean her head on his shoulder when she got tired during a movie, and he let her. He’d always enjoyed it, even before he’d realized his feelings for Ellie were anything but brotherly.

  Once he’d stopped denying how much he loved her, these Movie Night cuddle sessions had become much more enjoyable and a lot harder on his self-control. But tonight the only thing he’d describe as hard was his cock. He’d been in a constant state of arousal since she’d snuggled under his blanket, a fact that had been very difficult to conceal in such close quarters.

  The truth was, though the evening had been complete torture on him and his libido, Jake was loath to have it end. The last movie was nearly over, so he had little choice, but he could squeeze as much pleasure as possible from these last few minutes of closeness with Ellie.

  He glanced over at Ellie, watching her profile as she watched the movie. They were watching the classic Breakfast at Tiffany’s, her favorite. She was completely engrossed in the movie, her eyes shining with tears. She always welled up during this scene, and at the end she wouldn’t be able to hold them back any longer and huge drops would slide down her flawlessly smooth cheek, leaving little wet streaks. Her eyes would shine, her nose would turn red, and her face would get all blotchy. And, as always, she would look utterly kissable.

  Zing. A lightning bolt of desire shot through him, again.

  Jake forced his eyes away from the sweet beauty at his side and tried to concentrate on the movie. He was almost instantly sorry, as the scene on screen brought the reality of tomorrow screaming back into his brain. The couple on screen was in a taxi, and the hero, Paul, was trying to get the incorrigible Holly to marry him, but she was intent on flying off to South America to find a new life.

  Zing. This time it was pain that shot through Jake. It was uncanny sometimes how life could imitate art, or the other way around. Tomorrow Jake would be driving the woman of his dreams off to a new city and a new life that didn’t include him. Only, unlike Paul in the movie, Jake hadn’t had the guts to put it all on the line and tell his love how he felt.

  That was what it all came down to. No guts. He was so afraid of damaging the bond between them that he hadn’t been able to come clean with her about his feelings. The guy in the movie hadn’t been afraid to lose everything in order to gain the love of a lifetime, and he was rewarded with a happy ending.

  For Jake and Ellie there would be no kissing scene in the rain. There wasn’t even a chance for one as long as he was afraid to show her what she really meant to him. Suddenly the warmth of her and her fresh, clean scent was too much for him. He was tired of worrying so much about tomorrow. Tomorrow would come whether he wanted it to or not. And watching her leave would hurt whether he’d taken a chance or not. He didn’t think a slap in the face or even a firm but polite "thanks, but no thanks" he might get if he told her how he felt could hurt worse than the torture of the "what ifs" he would have to live with if he didn’t. But the words still felt stuck in his throat. How do you tell the best friend you’ve ever had that you love her more than life? He couldn’t find the words. But, if he didn’t know how to tell her, he definitely knew how to show her.

  ******

  Tears rolled down Ellie’s face as the movie credits rolled on the TV screen. She always cried at this movie. But tonight, her tears were more for herself than for the bittersweet happy ending of the movie.

  Though she hadn’t wanted the night to end, it seemed as if the hours had flown by. It had been a wonderful evening. They’d pigged out on Chinese food, drank a little too much, laughed and talked all the way through the action movie as Jean Claude Van Damme kicked butt, then snuggled under a blanket for the next movie. All in all it had been a standard, fun Movie Night. Jake had been a bit distant at times, but Ellie chalked that up to woman problems. It happened all the time. The woman of the hour would become clingy and start "wanting more" out of their "relationship". At the first mention of the word commitment Jake would start getting antsy, trying to figure out a way to bolt without hurting the woman’s feelings.

  Whenever that happened he’d be distant for a day or two, then when he was ready he’d tell Ellie all about it. He always had. Ellie couldn’t count the number of times Jake had come to her with, Suzie wants me to meet her parents, Janet gave me a key to her apartment, or the biggie, Lisa wants us to buy a dog together. Do you know how long dogs live? These desperate declarations had always been followed by I’m just not ready for that kind of thing, Ellie.

  It had been a while since he’d come to her with such a problem, but she should have known it would be coming. It always did. Ellie wracked her brain to remember whom it was he was dating now, but the name didn’t come to mind. Well, it didn’t matter. It was someone. There was always someone. At least this time when he had this problem, he would have to call her to tell her about it. Maybe having hundreds of miles of phone line between them would dull the pain of hearing the details of yet another of his conquests.

  Ellie forced the distressing thoughts from her mind. There would be enough pain tomorrow when she said goodbye to Jake, and plenty of pain and loneliness in the coming weeks. She wouldn’t let it ruin tonight for her.

  But tonight was over. The last movie had ended and now she would have to leave her warm and comfy spot nestled against Jake and go lay down in that big, lonely guest bed. She knew, from many movie nights spent there, she’d be able to hear Jake’s soft snoring through the wall. The sound would be comforting to her as she drifted off to sleep. Sitting up, she turned to look at Jake.

  "Could you hand me a tissue?" she asked, motioning toward the box on the table near him.

  Wordlessly, Jake retrieved a tissue from its container. But instead of putting it in her outstretched hand, he brought the tissue up to her tear stained cheeks. Softly, he began wiping the tears from her face.

  His voice was soft when he asked, "Why do you cry at movies like that? I mean, the ones with happy endings. I understand crying when it’s sad, but when they end up together, what’s there to cry about?"

  "Oh, I don’t know." Crying had left her voice a bit rough, and his question took her a bit off guard. Her voice was low and quiet as she answered, "I guess it could just be the emotion. Happy endings make me feel happy, and you know how I am. I’ll take any opportunity to cry."

  He laughed at her answer, but before he could say anything else, Ellie went on.

  “Or, I guess it could be jealousy, or whimsy, or some such nonsense. Maybe its just self-pity and I’m crying for myself. Everyone else gets their own happy ending with someone to share the rest of their life with, but I’m still alone."

  Ellie let out a tiny gasp. She couldn’t believe what she’d just said. She
and Jake had always shared everything, but this was a bit more honest than she’d meant to get with him. Clasping her hands together on her lap, she stared down at them and tried to think of what to say next. She tried to think of a joke to make light of her too revealing statement.

  His thumb replaced the tissue on her cheek. Gently, he rubbed it over the tear blotched skin, tracing a path over her high cheekbones. His touch scorched her skin. It seemed to her that every ounce of his body heat was flowing through that one thumb and into her.

  "You’re not alone. You have me."

  His tone was so gruff and low she almost thought she imagined that he’d said it. Her eyes flew to his, seeking some clue as to what he’d meant, what that note in his voice was that she couldn’t identify. What she saw nearly took her breath away. His charcoal eyes were darkened to jet-black with some emotion she was afraid to name. She was drawn into them and felt her chest tighten. She couldn’t breathe. His gaze bore into her, searching her face for something, she didn’t know what. She felt as though she would melt into a pool of liquid heat under his gaze. Was that really desire she saw in his eyes?

  Jake’s hand slid from her face to the nape of her neck, pulling her to him. At the same time he lowered his own face toward her. It happened so fast she hardly had time to register what was happening, yet it seemed as if it were all going in slow motion.